SO WHO AM I
PART 3
After a few setbacks I finally started to listen to these various examples and warnings that
were being put in front of me and I started to recognize that changes were in order for me to progress and be the person that god intended for me to be. I began to seriously analyze, resist, and reject many things that I would have previously supported or participated in. Truly nothing or no one was off limits from my thoughts of if I should continue whatever relationship we shared at one point in time. Everything around me that most people aspired to be I questioned. The warped perceptions of today's society has totally rearranged what is considered to be good and bad especially in places that I grew up in and spent time. To be a womanizer and gangster is thought of as cool and the "in" thing to do, and to be a college student and socially conscious were thought of as reaching to high or not popular in many circles. Recognizing how society and various media outlets can program a young mind freed me of my insecurities and imperfections, and as a result I began to have a much different outlook on everyday life and things I encountered. While if you ask ten people what they feel about me you probably will get ten different explanations, I take pride in being who I am. I am not a follower and I wouldn't want to be anyone but myself.
My unique versatility became more and more evident as I began to broaden my horizons through interacting with people from all walks of life, many much different then my own. I truly valued these experiences for the things I learned, and I received even more gratification from people telling me that they appreciated me listening and telling them of my previous life episodes, and how much they soaked in from our conversations. Many young men especially of my ethnicity feel that they have to fit into a mold and be one thing rather then having ownership of many different thoughts and ideas. In my opinion a person is not a simply a one dimensional being, but someone who has a vast amount of emotions, feelings and experiences due to the lives that they have led, and to limit yourself to a one race of friends, cultures, or not wanting to explore what the world has to offer is to severely handicap yourself, and place yourself among ignorance and that is something I cannot and will not ever do.
Love became what I embraced more so then money, popularity or anything else. The love of my family and close friends is what matters to me. Though I have made many mistakes and will continue to do so due to the nature of being human, I know I am a good person and I strive to be a better one. Some people have only seen my angry and disagreeable side due to my ultra dislike of ignorance, arrogance, selfish behavior, and generally being shady as I inherited the warrior spirit from my father and uncle and it will come to the surface at times if I feel the need for it to show. I have no problem protecting myself, family, or friends with violence if it is called for but that is not all of what I am. In fact it is a particular side of myself that I actually fear to the fact that I don't know what I will do sometimes if the anger becomes to great. A struggle to maintain my position as a spiritual being and stay away from the temptations of the negative individuals and influences of this world is on going in my life.
In conclusion I would say that Taj Malone is a man of good who struggles with who bad deeds of his past , a son of god capable of great things. A son of god who recognizes the gifts and good fortune I was blessed to have bestowed upon me. The path in search of righteousness is what I am walking down and hopefully I will reach it eventually.
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